Any schlub can put together a Top Ten Boob List, throw Jennifer Love Hewitt and Sofia Vergara in there, and call it a day. That’s just lazy, sloppy, amateurish and disrespectful to anyone who considers themselves a Boob Man – or Woman.
And speaking of sloppy, Christina Hendricks’ tig ol’ bitties will not be making an appearance here either. Too easy.
Now that the disclaimer portion is out of the way,The Smickle proudly presents the Top 7 Celebrity Racks of 2011 (We can’t afford top 10 lists…blame the economy.)
7.Â Salma Hayek
The patron saint of hot Latina rackage, Salma will probably have a spot on this list for the next 20 years. Ultimate motorboat material.
6. Kate Gosselin
I may have lost every shred of credibility on this one, but everybody is allowed a weird attraction, and Kate is mine. Give me 1 hour in the sack with her and that bitch’s attitude would be seriously adjusted.
5. Katy Perry
One of those “too easy” picks. But she’s young, and those puppies are so nice and round…
4. Kevin Federline
<Rimshot> K-Fat just knocked Phil Mickelson off as the owner of the biggest celebrity bitch tits.
3. Jackie Johnson
For those of you who don’t live in the Los Angeles area, you are sadly missing out on the best part of the evening – Rackie Johnson’s knockers’ 5 day forecast.
2. Casey Anthony
What? Too soon? Personally, I think she’s hot…if you forget the whole “murdering a child thing.”
1. Brooklyn Decker
How I hate you, Andy Roddick…Brooklyn’s so freakin’ hot that she even gets a pass for starring in an Adam Sandler film. Those friggin’ things are bionic. And I mean in a natural, round, juicy, bouncy, yummy way.